Reframing your life and career through the lens of living, learning, and loving offers a profound shift from the transient allure of actions, accomplishments, and accolades towards a path of enduring fulfillment and purpose. Shifting your perspective on how you view your life and career will allow you to recognize that true fulfillment stems from understanding yourself and living in alignment with your values. This new understanding will allow you to embrace the richness of all of life's experiences without stress, anxiety, or burnout.
How do you change your perspective?
It is not easy to stop believing the traditional narratives of success, which focus on title, money, prestige and recognition, and achievements. It’s what keeps us “busy” at work all hours of the day and night. My father used to say, “Work hard and you will succeed.” But is that really true? Do you have to work hard to succeed? Or do you need to work in alignment with your values? I was in a constant battle with myself to work hard, work longer hours, prove to others that I was capable and would succeed. And I wasn’t fulfilled or happy.
But once I shifted my perspective toward living my life in alignment with all my values, spent time learning about myself in every moment and circumstance and creating loving, deep connections with people, I found deeper meaning to my life and career beyond external validations and material gains. Now I have found success in all areas of my life.
Try these three steps consistently and you will be surprised how your perspective shifts and leads to ultimate life and career fulfillment:
1. Living your values. When your values are fulfilled, you will be fulfilled. Full stop. Therefore, identifying your values and defining them to truly understand what is important to you is the first step to fulfillment. Once you know what is important to you, you can determine which aspects of your life and career are in alignment with your values and which are not.
For example: If having uninterrupted family time is important in the evening hours because it is your time to be present with your children, but your manager calls you every night with unimportant or non-urgent matters, then your manager is violating your value every night. You may feel frustrated, or sad, or guilty that your time with your children isn’t as meaningful because you aren’t as present as you want to be.
It is up to you to determine if you can set boundaries to align with this value. Can you not answer the phone? Can you talk to your boss and tell them that you won’t be available after a certain time? If you can’t do these things and hold your boundaries, this job may never be in alignment with your values. You must own our values and decide to put those ahead of everything else in your life because living in alignment with your values is what leads to fulfillment.
2. Learning leads to continuous growth: By prioritizing learning and personal development, you cultivate a mindset of continuous growth and improvement. Be ambitious for excellence. That means, rather than being solely motivated by external achievements in your career and life, you will derive more overall satisfaction in your own life from the process of learning and evolving over time in your professional and personal life.
Every moment and event of time has a lesson if you just look for it. Whether you have been laid off, given harsh feedback, experienced physical, mental, or emotional trauma, or feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, think about why you are being challenged in such a distressing way. Instead of fixating on external markers of success, shifting the focus towards cultivating resilience, adaptability, and a thirst for knowledge will help you find fulfillment in every situation, positive or adverse. Life is not about just “surviving” each day and looking forward to when the big project ends, when a conflict is over, or when you’ve overcome a distressing period in your life. Learning in the moment – not just afterwards - is what helps you thrive and embrace resilience in the face of challenges and setbacks. Instead of being derailed by failures or obstacles, if you view them as opportunities for growth and learning, you will be grateful for the difficult experience and use it to continue your personal and professional growth.
Difficult experiences are not only life’s teachers, but they also allow you to contribute to the world in a more meaningful way through sharing your knowledge. Taking actions to overcome a difficult situation, achieving success, or receiving accolades for a job well done may bring you happiness for a moment in time. That feeling will disappear when the moment is over, and you will chase those again and again. But if you focus on learning and knowledge you gained from the difficult experiences, they will never leave you and you will be able to share with others to connect on a deeper level.
3. Cultivate loving connections. Cultivating deep and loving connections transcends mere networking or transactional relationships; it is about fostering genuine empathy, compassion, and collaboration with others. As you embark on your own journey of growth and self-discovery, you naturally extend a hand to uplift and support those around you. By nurturing deep connections based on mutual respect and understanding, you create a nurturing ecosystem where everyone can thrive and flourish. In this interconnected web of shared experiences and aspirations, success is not measured by individual achievements, but by the collective growth and fulfillment of the community.
I have had a best friend since the day I was born – more than fifty years – and yet, when she visited me not long ago, our connection grew deeper through conversation and shared experiences. We live more than two thousand miles apart, and I now long for that connection with her and other close friends because those connections fulfill me on such a deep level, and our connection also helps them feel fulfilled in their lives as well.
By shifting your focus from actions, accomplishments, and accolades to living, learning, and loving, you cultivate a more sustainable and fulfilling approach to life and career that is rooted in personal growth, resilience, and meaningful contribution to others. It's a journey that transcends the fleeting allure of external validations and material gains, leading to a deeper sense of purpose and interconnectedness with the world around you. That is what leads to peace, fulfillment, and happiness.
The journey is yours.
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