Redefining Success: Why It’s Time to Uncompete

We’ve been taught our entire lives that competition is natural. From the classroom to the boardroom, we’re told that if we want to succeed, we have to beat someone else to the finish line. Promotions are limited, resources are scarce, and only the strongest survive. But what if this mindset isn’t natural at all? What if competition is something we’ve learned—and worse, something that’s quietly harming us?

Author and DEI practitioner Ruchika T. Malhotra challenges this assumption in her book Uncompete. She argues that the belief we must compete every day is not only exhausting, it’s also destructive to our well-being, relationships, and even workplace innovation. 

Instead of thriving, many of us are stuck in cycles of compete comparison, whispering to ourselves, “I can’t compete” and then we shut down, and don’t try to succeed in our own right.

Why We’re Conditioned to Compete

Ruchika grew up between two worlds: a father who believed in winning at all costs and a mother who modeled collaboration and community. Entering the global workplace, she repeatedly saw how competition was positioned as the only path to success. Promotions, recognition, even friendships often turned into rivalries.

But the bigger problem is structural. Many corporate systems reward competition and scarcity thinking. Leaders pit employees against one another for the same limited opportunities. As Ruchika explains, these dynamics are not “natural.” They’re designed but they don’t have to be. They can be redesigned.

The Trap of Comparison

When I talked to Ruchika, one of the most powerful sections of our conversation centered on the role of compete comparison. Social media amplifies our natural tendency to compare ourselves to others, pushing us to measure worth through someone else’s vacation photos, promotions, or big projects.

Comparison isn’t just unhelpful. It’s exhausting. When we scroll, we silently repeat: I can’t compete with that. And yet, the truth is we don’t need to.

Collaboration Over Competition

Ruchika emphasizes that uncompeting is a proactive choice. Instead of trying to outshine colleagues, leaders and professionals can amplify each other. She highlights the concept of “amplification,” where teammates intentionally reinforce and credit each other’s ideas. This small shift builds trust, innovation, and true collective power.

The cost of not doing so is steep: fractured relationships, missed opportunities, and organizations that fail to unlock the potential of all their people.

Redefining Ambition and Success

Ambition isn’t the enemy. The challenge is redefining what success really means. For Ruchika, success includes financial stability, yes, but also joy, time with loved ones, and living according to deeply held values.

When we pause to ask ourselves what truly matters, we free ourselves from the hamster wheel. We resist the system that tells us we must compete every day and instead choose a more sustainable path rooted in abundance and inclusion.

Practical Ways to “Uncompete”

• Acknowledge the culture. Leaders can align with their teams to name competition as a problem and explore its root causes.

• Use amplification. Repeat and credit colleagues’ ideas so they’re heard and valued.

• Advocate for others. Supporting underperforming or insecure team members strengthens your leadership brand.

• Master crucial conversations. Frameworks like SBI (Situation, Behavior, Impact) help navigate conflicts without triggering defensiveness.

• Redefine success. Align ambition with personal values, not just company metrics.

A Call to Choose Joy

Finally, Ruchika says choose joy as an act of resistance. Even in environments designed to push us into rivalry, we can decide to uncompete. We can define success on our own terms, not by comparison to others.

Want more? This conversation with Ruchika is packed with real-world examples, leadership insights, and practical strategies for creating workplaces where people and ideas thrive.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode of the podcast to dive deeper into how you can uncompete in your career and your life.

And if you want to pick up a copy of Ruchika’s book, Uncompete, Click Here.