FIred and Misjudged: Why Getting Let Go Isn’t Always Your Fault (and why You Should Think Twice Before Judging The Dearly Departed)

When someone gets fired, what is the first thing that goes through your mind? Most people assume something went terribly wrong. Maybe they were incompetent. Maybe they clashed with leadership. Maybe they just could not cut it.

But here is the truth: being fired is not always about failure. In many cases, it is about fit, power dynamics, or politics. And when we rush to judge someone who has been let go, we are not just being unfair, we may also be hurting our own careers in the process.

Here are the hidden truths behind termination and why staying connected with former colleagues can be one of the smartest long-term moves you can make.

Why People Are Really Fired

As a former HR executive, I have been behind closed doors for hundreds of terminations. I have seen firsthand how performance is not always the main reason people are let go. Sometimes, a person is fired for being “difficult” simply because their work style does not match their manager’s.

Sometimes, they are fired because their leader lacks the courage to give clear feedback. And sometimes, they are just caught in the crossfire of politics or change. Firing decisions are often made without full transparency. That means as a bystander, your assumptions are probably wrong. And your silence after the firing? That silence can speak louder than words.

How We Misjudge Our Fired Colleagues

Think about how often you have ghosted someone after they were let go. Did you stop inviting them to happy hour or hangouts? Remove them from a group chat? Assume they must have done something terrible?

This reaction is common, but harmful. Not just for the person who was fired but for your own professional integrity. The reality is that your perception was shaped by whispers, not facts.

Even worse, when someone you judged bounces back, and they almost always do, they remember who showed up for them and who disappeared.

Real Stories From the Inside

For example, here are some terminations I’ve sat in on before someone was led out the door:

• A woman fired not for poor performance, but because her “last-minute” work style clashed with a micromanaging boss. She is now thriving at another company in the same role.

  
  

• A man placed on a vague performance improvement plan after his boss failed to provide clear feedback. That same boss was later flagged for erratic leadership behavior.

  
  

• A high-performing employee was let go after a new leader said they were “not a fit for the culture.” When asked to clarify, the leader gave vague feedback like, “They just don’t vibe with the team” or “Their energy feels off.” This person had consistently hit performance goals, had strong peer reviews, and had even trained new hires. And let’s not forget all those stellar performance reviews! So what was really happening? Sad to say but they were an introvert in a team full of extroverts. They did not attend every happy hour. They preferred Slack messages to video calls. None of that impacted their work but it clashed with an unspoken expectation to be socially visible and high-energy. Instead of being evaluated on impact, they were judged on personality. And just like that, they were gone. The worst part? "Culture fit" was never defined. It became a blanket excuse to remove someone who made leadership uncomfortable for reasons they could not (or would not) articulate.

  
  

These are everyday examples of how termination can say more about the system than the person. Oh, and if you are wondering why no one in HR stopped it? Well, you haven’t listened to The Truth About HR: What You Need to Know. I digress.   

What To Do When a Coworker Gets Fired

If someone you respected is fired, do not ghost them. Do not delete their number. Do not assume the worst. Here is what to do instead:

• Reach out with empathy and ask how they are doing

  
  

• Offer to be a reference or introduce them to your network

  
  

• Keep the relationship alive. You never know where they might land next

This is not just about kindness. It is about being smart. Many people who are fired go on to become leaders at other companies. When they remember who stood by them, they pay it forward.

Final Thought: Fired Does Not Mean Forgotten

Getting fired can feel like a scarlet letter but it should not be. If you have been let go, know this: your career is not over. It is being redirected. And if you are still employed, remember that one person’s firing does not erase their value. Empathy is not just a buzzword. It is a career asset.

Want to hear more about what really happens in termination meetings, how to rebuild your professional reputation, and how to show up when others disappear? Listen to the full episode of Fired and Misjudged on Work Unscripted and learn how to handle workplace exits with empathy, strategy, and maturity because today’s outsider might just be tomorrow’s hiring manager.