Boundaries Are Not Barriers: How to Protect Your Time and Energy This Holiday Season

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, connection, and rest, but for many of us, it’s the opposite. You’re answering work emails from the couch, checking Slack between bites of stuffing, or fielding “quick questions” during family dinner. Maybe you’re already dreading the side-eye from relatives when you skip an event or the late-night “urgent” ping from your boss after you’ve finally put your phone away.

If that sounds familiar, it’s time for a reset… because boundaries are not barriers. They’re not walls meant to shut people out. They’re bridges that protect your time, energy, and peace of mind.

What Are Boundaries (and Why They’re So Hard to Keep)?

One of the biggest misconceptions about boundaries is that they’re selfish or rigid. In reality, boundaries are healthy, intentional limits you set to stay aligned with your values. They define what’s okay and what’s not, for you.

At work, a boundary might look like turning off notifications after 6 PM. At home, it could mean saying no to a third family gathering in one weekend.

Without boundaries, especially if you’re a people pleaser, you say yes to everything. The result? Resentment, exhaustion, and burnout.

Boundaries give your “yes” meaning. They teach others how to treat you — and they help you live and work in alignment with what truly matters.

Set Boundaries That Align With Your Values

Many people set boundaries based on what others expect, not what they value. That’s why they don’t stick.

Ask yourself:

• What do I need to protect in order to feel calm, present, and fulfilled?

• What drains my energy or pulls me away from what matters most?

If family time matters to you, checking your phone at dinner violates your own boundary. If excellence is a value, saying yes to too many projects compromises it.

Start by identifying your non-negotiables which are the things that make you feel grounded, healthy, and whole.

How to Communicate Boundaries Clearly (Without Guilt)

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean disappearing or being difficult. It means being clear, kind, and consistent.

Here are some examples of boundary-setting language that works:

• “I’m offline this weekend and will reply Monday.”

• “I can help, but I’ll need until Thursday.”

•  “I don’t check messages after 7 PM so if you email or text after that time, I’ll get back to you in the morning.”

• “I’ll be out from December 22 to January 4. If it’s urgent, please reach out to [backup contact].”

  
  

These aren’t excuses. They’re professional, confident statements that set expectations early.

Pro tip: if you say you are available to “urgent” matters, define what “urgent” means before you’re out of office. For example:

Urgent means:

• Client issues with immediate negative business impact

• System outages

• Legal or PR crises

• Personal emergencies

  
  

Everything else? It can wait.

Plan Your Re-Entry Before You Leave

Nothing kills post-vacation peace faster than a wall of unread messages and back-to-back meetings.

Before you log off, block out the first few hours of your return day to get organized and ease back in. You’ll be sharper, calmer, and far less reactive.

Hold Your Boundaries (Even When It’s Uncomfortable)

Here’s the truth: boundaries only work if you enforce them.

It’s tempting to bend when someone pushes, but if you bend, your boundaries become suggestions, not standards. Flexibility is fine, but it should be intentional. If a real emergency arises, make the choice consciously, not out of guilt.

And speaking of guilt…

Let Go of the Guilt

That sinking feeling when you say no? That’s not a sign you’re doing something wrong. That’s a sign you’re breaking an old pattern.

When someone reacts poorly to your healthy limits, remember: their reaction is not your responsibility. Your job is to honor your limits. Their job is to adjust.

You teach people how to treat you. Say yes too often, and they’ll expect it. Say no clearly and kindly, and they’ll learn to respect your boundaries and you more deeply.

How to Start Today

1. Audit your calendar. Eliminate tasks or meetings that drain your energy.

2. Write your out-of-office message early. Set expectations about availability.

3. Communicate in writing. Email your boundaries to your boss, team, and key partners.

4. Stick with it. It’ll feel awkward at first, but peace always follows clarity.

   
   

Boundaries Are Not About Restriction. They’re About Intention!

Boundaries don’t box you in. They free you to give your best energy to what matters most without guilt, burnout, or resentment.

So, as you head into the holidays, protect your peace. Be intentional with your time. And remember: saying “no” isn’t rejection — it’s respect for yourself.

Ready to take back your time and energy? Listen to the full Work Unscripted episode: Boundaries Are Not Barriers.