You Might Be the Villain in Someone Else's Story at Work
You think of yourself as the hero. Most of us do.
You show up, you work hard, you try to do the right thing. You're navigating a busy day, a demanding boss, a packed inbox, and you're doing the best you can. In the story of your career, you are, without question, the main character.
But here’s something uncomfortable to consider: in someone else's story, you might be the villain.
Not intentionally. Not maliciously. But still, the villain.
What Multi-Perspectivity at Work Actually Means
The concept is called multi-perspectivity, and it's borrowed from storytelling. In literature, an author uses multiple characters to tell the full story. Think of the book and movie, Gone Girl. You get his version, then her version, and suddenly everything you thought you understood flips. Or Wicked, where the "wicked" witch isn't wicked at all when you see the story through her eyes.
At work, the same thing is happening constantly, and most of us are only reading one version of the story.
You pull into a parking spot without seeing someone else's blinker. You walk past a colleague in the hall without saying hello because your mind is somewhere else. You push back on someone's idea in a meeting because, from where you're sitting, it has a real problem. In every one of those moments, you are the main character of your story. And in every one of those moments, you might be the obstacle in someone else's.
That's multi-perspectivity. And it changes how you lead, how you collaborate, and how you navigate conflict at work.
Why Workplace Conflict Often Has Nothing to Do With You
Here's a scenario most professionals have experienced: your boss walks past you in the hallway, barely acknowledges you, and something in your gut drops. Did I do something wrong? Are they upset with me? Am I getting fired?
Your inner monologue kicks in, you spend the next two hours distracted, and by the end of the day, you've written an entire story, one that cast you as the wronged party and your boss as the villain.
Except your boss was running to an emergency.
Or she got terrible news that morning.
Or she simply didn't see you.
Multi-perspectivity is the practice of pausing before you write – or let your brain think of – that story. It doesn't mean excusing bad behavior or pretending conflict doesn't exist. It means understanding that every person you encounter at work is operating from a narrative point of view shaped by experiences, pressures, and backstory you don't have access to.
Two people can sit in the exact same meeting, hear the exact same words, and walk out with completely different interpretations. Neither is lying. They're just working from different stories.
The Word That Might Change How You See Your Coworkers
What if every single person around you is living a life as vivid, complex, and full as your own? There's a word for this sudden, disorienting realization: sonder.
It comes from John Koenig's The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, a collection of words for emotions that didn't previously have names. Sonder is the moment you recognize that the stranger at the coffee machine, the coworker who challenged you in the meeting, the employee who's been frustrating you, each of them is the hero of their own story, with their own plot twists, fears, and pressures running quietly in the background.
Most of us move through the workday without a single sonder moment. We're too busy to zoom out.
But leaders who practice it and who can hold the question, What might be driving this person?, alongside their own perspective, tend to build more loyal teams, navigate conflict more effectively, and make better decisions. Not because they agree with everyone. Because they understand that "everyone" is not a monolith.
How to Practice Perspective-Taking at Work (Without Losing Your Own)
Multi-perspectivity is a skill. You're not born with it, and it doesn't mean abandoning your own point of view or agreeing with people who are genuinely wrong.
It starts with, what else? Curiosity. When someone disagrees with you in a meeting, before labeling them difficult or dismissive, try a different question: Where might they be coming from that makes this idea feel wrong to them? You don't have to have the answer. You just have to stay open to the fact that one exists.
It also means pausing before you respond. In moments of conflict or friction, the instinct is to defend your position or dismiss theirs. But a brief pause, even just taking a breath, creates enough space to remember that you're not reading the full story.
And sometimes, it means rewriting the villain. Think of someone at work who's gotten under your skin. The person who asks a million questions. The colleague who pushes back on every initiative. The direct report who seems to work differently than everyone else. What if they're not obstacles? What if they're supporting characters with something to offer? Someone whose friction is actually making your work better?
Some of the most valuable people on a team are the ones who slow you down just enough to catch what you missed. And you may be seeing them as a roadblock.
What This Means If You're a Leader
If you manage people, multi-perspectivity isn't optional. it's the job.
Every person on your team is a complete person. They have histories, pressures, and inner narratives that you can't see from the outside. When you understand that, you start leading differently. You stop reading disengagement as laziness and start asking what's underneath it. You stop assuming that the person who challenged your idea in front of the group is undermining you and start recognizing them as someone worth listening to.
The question for leaders isn't, How do I get everyone aligned with my perspective?
It's, What am I not seeing from where I'm sitting?
That shift from broadcasting to curiosity is what separates managers who get compliance from leaders who get commitment.
You're the Hero. And Sometimes the Villain. And That's Okay.
The point of multi-perspectivity isn't to make you feel bad about the stories you've been telling. It's to remind you that you're not the only one telling them.
You are absolutely the hero of your own story. Own that. But you are also a supporting character, and sometimes an unwitting villain, in dozens of others. The more you can hold both of those truths at once, the more effectively you'll work, lead, and connect with the people around you.
Joseph Campbell said we're all drawn to be the hero, to go out into the world, face the villain, and return transformed. The twist is that in someone else’s story, you’ve already been cast, even if you didn’t audition for the role.
The question is: What you do when you realize it?
There's a lot more to this conversation I had with story strategist and 10-time Emmy Award Winning producer Valerie Gordon on Work Unscripted. We cover how to identify your own inner narrator, what storytelling strategies can help you take control of your career, and the powerful question that can reframe the current chapter of your life.
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